after a very long time

hey.
its been way too long for a post on this blog aite.
well,finals already over,im not doing anything,so y not?

a lil story of mine.
once i had a girl. for bout 3 years.
we broke up recently.
since that,ive been haunted by her images and our memories.
my friends said that its normal in post break up trauma.
but seriously,its now a prolonged situation and its killing me slowly.
i woke in d middle of d nite,sweating profusely, cuz ive dreamed bout her.
da following nite,ive dreamed bout getting together again.
n DAT CYCLE keeps going on n on.
da moment ive got a chance to be on9, her blog is the 1st on my tab.
i did dat subconsciously.

DAMN, I HATE BEING TIED DOWN LIKE THIS

i avoid going to malls n stuffs.
reason? ill stop n stare(4 a very long time) if i happen to bump into someone dat nearly resembles her.
n when someone really looks like her, my heart stopped beating. skipped 4-5 beats. literally.

da other me said im being paranoia. he said i need to move on. he said i need to remember wat she did to us.
thanx,but i cant do dat.
ive shot past dat threshold.
to think bout wat she did,weigh it in,it looks pretty easy to stop thinking bout her aite?
BUT, once again my subconscious mind directs me into a position dat im ready to forgive everything.
i did juz dat.

so,now wat?
like she always said, kalau ade jodoh, x kemane gak.
yeah rite,but in da meantime, wat should i do?
i cant even put myself together to be ready to accept someone else.